What if it is you who is stopping you?

What if it is you who is stopping you?

It was early in the morning, still dark outside. Sunrise was not due for several hours. It’s my favorite time of day before most of the world is awake—the quiet blankets me in peacefulness and calm.  

This day was full of promise, with the April Pink Full Moon shining brightly in the sky, illuminating all below it. It brought the promise of beautiful blossoming pink flowers announcing Spring and the release of old wounds and restricted feelings and patterns.

On this morning of the full moon, I listened to Toploader’s song Dancing in the Moonlight. It made me want to dance, move my body, and sway with the music. Although it was early morning, I texted this to my hubby, who I thought was still asleep.

Little did I know he was awake, and he, too, was delighted with the music.

The next thing I knew, my hubby walked into the room where I was sitting; he was fully dressed and asked me, “Let’s go dance in the moonlight!”

My response was fascinating as I came up with all sorts of reasons this was crazy or poor timing! 

The first thing that popped out of my mouth was – “Are you serious? It’s 5:25 am?” Had he forgotten my daily morning monologue and meditation began at 5:30 am? Did he not notice I was still in pajamas? Not to mention it was pretty darned cold and damp outside. 

He must be kidding, I thought, or being playful. We don’t do this sort of thing. Well, more accurately, I don’t do this sort of thing.

My excuses didn’t discourage him. Instead, he came up with the best reason to do this now! “There’s not another full moon for another month; why wait? The opportunity is right now!”

That’s when I noticed he was fully dressed and ready to go. I was the one in resistance. I was the one who was shutting down a delightful, loving moment for us both. What did it matter that I was in my pajamas? Why did I think a bit of cold and dampness was bothersome? Who cared what time of the day we danced in our front yard?

Wasn’t this exactly why I loved this time of day? The neighborhood was still asleep!

It was in that moment of awareness that I realized how often I shut down delightful spontaneous moments because of some sense of logic, reasonableness, or a belief it was childish. But, of course, I was the one who was stopping me!

Where is it you are stopping you?