What makes you cranky?

The minutes ticked by. The “on-hold” music played on and on in an endless, repetitive loop. I waited patiently at first. However, the promised 2-minute wait time turned into 10 or 15. As the minutes ticked by, I gritted my teeth with impatience, irritated by the lack of customer service and the waste of my precious time.

Finally, a representative answered, only to be told they needed to transfer me to another department. And so, the wait time and hold music began again.

This particular call was to resolve an issue with a bank. Over and over again, I had to repeat the same story and explanation, only to be transferred to another department. It took several calls and hours of my time to get a resolution.

And, yes, it made me cranky – very cranky!

I don’t know about you, but many things can make me cranky. The list can be a long one.

Delays, rudeness, interruptions, unmet promises, disrespect, disappointing outcomes, unmet obligations, and dismissive behaviors, to name but a few. And those areas of our lives that beg for our time and attention. Begging for that most precious asset of our lives – our time.

We get emotionally triggered by simply living our lives. Unfortunately, we often do not see it coming as we trip merrily along doing our own thing. Then wham, there it is, the nagging thing we must take care of and get done.

Sometimes we handle it when it happens or demands a resolution. However, many times we ignore, set aside, or tolerate it. It gets stuffed inside where it churns. We tell ourselves we will deal with it another time when we have more time.

But do we?

Instead, we put it on our long “to-do” list to handle another day. After all, our time is precious, and who wants to waste it doing yet another chore, task, confrontation, or obligation?

Yet, the nagging voice continues. It shows up in our sleep, our quiet moments, or invades our thoughts at the weirdest inopportune moments.

So how does one deal with this nagging voice? Let me use my original banking issue to share what I did.

After five months, I went past cranky to outraged, disgusted, and stunned by the incompetence and ridiculous hoops this bank expected me to jump through.

At one point, I tried to ignore it; however, that only made me more anxious, with many sleepless nights.

So what did I ultimately do?

● First, I acknowledged all the emotions that I was feeling, from anger and outrage to hopelessness. I welcomed them all. I felt them and fully embraced them. I didn’t stuff them or pretend they didn’t exist.

● I then decided to stop being cranky, which meant I needed to stop naming, blaming, labeling, and judging anyone involved. I also had to let go of my opinion about the banking world and its rules.

● Third, before I got back on the phone, I stood up and physically shook off any leftover energy I held in my body. Shake, shake, shake. Release, Release. Release. Breathe!

● And finally, I decided to use two responses to every step or question. I either said, “I don’t know,” (since in the past my endless explanations got me nowhere) or, “Okay,” (even though I’d been through every one of the same steps at least five or six times before.)

I was pleasantly surprised at how easily the situation was resolved! In the end, it took under 30 minutes. Three different bank representatives who were professional and helpful assisted me. I was shocked by the ease of it.

Could this approach help you in your next cranky moment? I can’t promise any particular outcome; however, you’ll find that you’ll remain peaceful as you do.

Aren’t we all in this together, doing the best that we know how to do? I know it isn’t easy for us living in these human bodies. However, no matter the situation, we can stop taking it personally and live in calm and peace.

 

 

 

Article by Joan Silva published in the monthly Crockett Signal magazine.

May 2023 Issue.