You can’t take it with you

You can’t take it with you … Then, why do I have so much stuff?

You can’t take it with you! Something my dad said and lived by — his voice still clearly resonates in my head to this day. He’s now been gone almost 15 years and his wisdom and practical guidance and still so useful to a world that has forgotten this principle.

He was a giving man, one who believed he had plenty in life, even though he was not a high-income earner — at least based on today’s standards. He gave generously, to his family when he saw there was a need or even a desire. He didn’t just say the words but lived them.

Most of us would be hard-pressed to live these words successfully. It seems our major goal in life is to have a giant house crammed with lots and lots of stuff. No excess to give to another.

Yet, it’s a hard truth to hear, let alone swallow, is that all the wealth you have worked so hard to amass, the homes, cars, and boats that you have bought, and all the cherished stuff you’ve accumulated — none of it goes with you.

We spend a lifetime climbing the ladder of success, putting in long, hard hours of labor, and exerting blood, sweat, and tears, just to accumulate all those treasures.

And, yet, in one fell swoop, you leave the planet without it.

As a wealthy man responded, when asked why he gave away so much of his wealth, he said, “You’ll never see a Uhaul behind a Hearse!” In other words, you can’t take it with you, why not give it away while you’re here!

Fascinatingly enough, even though we are aware we can’t take it with us, we humans still want our stuff! We find great joy, enthusiasm, and passion in buying, having, and keeping it all. We don’t realize how primal and fundamental the hunter and gatherer are in our human nature.

So, hunt and gather we do! Encouraged to have more and more. The satisfaction and release are deep.

But, at what point does it become all too much? Is there a critical point in our lives when we step back and ask ourselves, Why do I keep all this stuff? Where, oh where, is it all going to go?

Of course, the stuff did seem important at some point, didn’t it? There was a good reason why you wanted it. Many of those things you worked long and hard to be able to afford.

But, suddenly, as if overnight, there seems to be way too much and no place to put it all. The piles are out of control. The closets and cabinets are packed to the brim. Not an open spot to be found.

To solve this issue, our tendency, these days, is to buy, or move into, a bigger home. A home with a larger garage, attic, or basement, more square footage, and space for all our valuable stuff. Or, maybe, a large storage unit to contain it all.

This is what the majority of us do. It seems the American way is to have bigger, better, more expensive, and more valuable stuff, along with a larger and more expansive home to house it.

It is a visible sign that “we have made it to the top!”

I know that was the path that I was on, even with a dad who spoke and lived otherwise. As I advanced in my career and my income increased, so did the size of my homes and the amount of my stuff. Not only did I have more to manage on the job, but now my home was, even more, to manage, as well.

When did I decide this would make me happier?

Would it help to know that studies have found there is no indication that any of these things makes anyone happier; in fact, it seems the reverse may be true. 

It’s troublesome to realize that the treasures you buy, which were so exciting, daring, or new, quickly changed from novel to normal. AND, in short order, you become numb to it all.

What if, instead, you decided to reverse that pattern and live with less? Buy less? Keep less? Manage and organize less? And, quit the dead-end job of taking care of your stuff. 

Could it be that your home is plenty big enough if you simply cleared out some of the stuff?

This was the realization that I came to when there was simply no more room to add another thing, and, I was not going to buy a bigger house.  So, I cleared out excess furniture, appliances, dinner and cookware, dishes, glassware, tools, office supplies, clothing, shoes, books, home goods, exercise equipment, linens, and bedding. The list went on, and on — embarrassingly long. All of it I had bought, kept, and neatly packed away in my home.

It was a shocking reality as I would take load after load to a donation station, or the dump. The awareness of how seldom I had used most of that stuff — much of it well past its prime, ready to be retired. 

At first, it wasn’t easy to let go of all those things, many of them had served me well over the years. But, I took a deep breath, marched over to the closet, and began. I was determined to only hold onto those things that were truly valuable to me. Those items that brought me joy. 

I was done with organizing and managing stuff that I no longer needed or valued. After all, if it was packed away in some corner, never to see the light of day, how valuable could it possibly be?

I also came to realize that the best stuff in life isn’t stuff at all. Relationships, experiences, and meaningful work were the staples of a happy life.

And, after all, when all is said and done, as my dad so wisely said, you can’t take it with you anyway. Why not give it away while you are still here. Let someone else find joy and usefulness in your excess and unused stuff.