Have you given up already?

Have you given up already? Could it be time to get honest with yourself?

January is the biggest month for goal setting — for all of our annual resolutions. As we turned the page on our calendar to the new year, we told ourselves that we would accomplish them this year.

This year would be different, we said confidently, as we set off with determination. This year we would turn over a new leaf, and most definitely, we would fulfill the promises we made to ourselves.

Yet, according to Uncluttered Simplicity, “… on average, only 8% of people actually keep their New Year’s resolutions. Each and every January, we make pie-in-the-sky goals for the new year ahead. Only to give up come February.”

It is a shocking and disturbing statistic that most of us will not accomplish what we set out to do in the new year. A statistic that we play out, year after year.

And, just as predicted, here we are in early March, where most of us have given up already. All those much anticipated and celebrated goals now feel overwhelming, undoable, and impossible. Or maybe even ridiculous.

What was I thinking, you say to yourself. What made me believe I could keep up with that money plan, clear all my clutter, or lose that many pounds? Seriously, who was I kidding?

With that, out the window, it all goes. As my mother loves to say, “you throw the baby out with the bathwater.” All of it. Not a single bit of it is kept, assessed, or considered. So much easier to just give up with a sigh. Or, to convince ourselves it was impossible, so why bother.

But, wait! Could it instead be a time to get real with yourself? A time to get honest and truthful. To do a deep dive and be realistic. Could it be, from the get-go, you avoided some truth about yourself that set you up to fail? Or to make promises you couldn’t possibly keep?

What if, to begin with, you didn’t want it? What if you didn’t believe you could have it? What if you had something more important to accomplish, and this year’s goal was simply a roadblock to that more important achievement?

Only you know for sure. This is where your true work begins with you being honest with yourself, no one else, just you. 

Did you want what you said you wanted? Or was it a should? A should that was placed upon you by someone else. A should based upon childhood beliefs, from your parents, or other aspects of your growing up. A should you went along with just to keep the peace. Or a societal should you complied with to fit in.

I know, for me, I had to get clear on how much of my desire to keep tidy spaces was my natural tendency, or a should from childhood. Much like, clean your plate, there are starving children in China … I had to determine if this belief was mine. Is it true for me? Or, was it the way for someone to guilt me into behaving?

I personally love clean, open, and organized spaces. I don’t tend to keep things that many folks treasure and keep — such as cards given by others for special occasions or events. I tend to enjoy them for a short period, then toss them. For much of my life, I tried to find a way to keep them, make them useful, and not give them up.

However, as I got clear on my desire to release excess, I found a way to treasure them for a short time period, like my Christmas and holiday cards. I posted them on my bulletin board to enjoy the season. And, then, out they went with gratitude and thankfulness.

I let go of the “should” about treasuring stuff given to me. Or keeping stuff that no longer fits into my life EVEN if that stuff was still useable. No matter what it initially cost, the keeping of it was a drain on the energy of my life and my home.

It does take an intention coupled with action. It does bring clarity on what you truly value more than anything else. It does take a strong desire to have exactly what you want and say “no” to that which does not support it.

No matter what. 

Otherwise, this month and year will repeat the pattern that so many others before it has gone. A pattern of setting an intention without clarity of what you truly valued. A pattern of pushing ahead on something that is most likely not yours to have, be or do.

How about this month, the month of March, you step back, take a deep breath, and reassess your real WHY? Then, take one itsy-bitsy tiny step towards that. 

No big leaps. No huge expectations. Just one tiny step and another. And, before you know it, next year no longer has that same ole’ resolution from years past.

Remember …
“You only fail if you quit.”
Shraddha TV