Where’s your pile of negativity?

Where’s your pile of negativity? 

Let’s talk basements and attics. Not that everyone has them. However, for those of you who do, have you considered the tremendous negative energy that smolders below and hangs heavily above? 

Your basements are full of who knows what, and your attics are full of even more. Most of it you’ve kept for years, if not decades.

For those who don’t have a basement or attic, this applies to you too! Aw shucks! Did you think I would only stick to what is under or above you in your home?

You’ve got piles of negativity too. Only yours are hidden away in inventive places or sitting right in the center of your room – Piled high on tabletops and surfaces. What about those garages packed so full a car could never enter it!

But, let’s get back to basements. I recently talked with someone in my From Clutter to Tidy Facebook group. She thanked me for my guidance in tidying up her home. She told me, “I see progress in my home. Things are tidy in every room except my basement.” She said, “I’m learning to let go of “buried treasures” that, in fact, are rusted and broken now.”

With my encouragement and the energy of the supermoon on the 13th, “she went right down to the basement, looked around, picked up a few ugly boxes and brought them upstairs, broke them down, and put them right into the recycling bin!” Now that’s a win in my book and was for her too!

Some may think a couple of boxes would hardly make a dent. However, I would lovingly disagree. The subtle shift she made was a big one. She went from totally avoiding the basement, waiting for a future full moon to address the basement, to taking a small step today.

I encourage you not to discount those small, subtle steps. Those steps are how we begin to make a dent in what overwhelms us or seems impossible to clear out.

And, what about those attics? One of my clients has a massive attic in her home with lots of stuff she’s kept over the years, mainly other people’s stuff. Past generations of things passed down to her and current family members, who seem to think her attic is a storage facility. So she struggles to clear it and often fills it back up again.

After all, it is human nature to clear out an area and, within minutes or days, put stuff right back into that area. “Over time, the need to fill space has been normalized. Society has taught us to believe that empty spaces look sad and lonely“, said Trisha Dunbar, author of Why Do We Feel the Need to Fill Empty Spaces? (April 2021)

So, how do you deal with all that stuff literally hanging over your head or under your feet? This also applies to garages and guest rooms!

Here are a few “Do’s and Don’t’s” to help you deal with all that stuff:

1. Don’t discount small, simple steps. Each time you remove one thing, you begin to believe you can do it again and again. Keep going.
2. Do begin with removing and curating. You don’t need a plan for this other than taking one small action at a time.
3. Don’t get attached to an outcome. Instead, get moving on the journey and let go of the perceived or expected results. As I heard quoted by Susan David, Ph.D. author of Emotional Agility, “Expectations are disappointments waiting to happen.”
4. Do acknowledge and allow the feelings and emotions to come forth. Now is the time to stop stuffing them. That’s what has stopped you in your tracks before.
5. Don’t overthink it. Our egos and minds love to sabotage before we even begin. So ignore the chatter in your head and keep going.
6. Do pat yourself on the back for every action step you take. See each step as a WIN, no matter how small or perceived as insignificant. Oh, and speak your praise out loud!
7. Don’t beat yourself up for perceived failures or inaction. As I quoted in my last blog newsletter – You never fail unless you give up!

This journey is not an easy one. It takes courage to dive into everything we have kept, stored, and allowed to build up in our lives, homes, emotions, and our bodies.

One final powerful message from Susan David – “Emotions are data, NOT directives.” In other words, feel your emotions and allow and accept them. They are not your enemy. They help you connect to what you care about, so it pays to listen to them.

However, your emotions, however, are not meant to run the show!