Are you frozen in overwhelm?

Are you frozen in overwhelm?

Oh no! You’ve got to be kidding. Another box? How is it possible there’s yet another box?

I thought I’d handled all of them, yet there it was on the shelf. A shelf that usually doesn’t store this sort of thing. How did it end up there?

It must have gotten shoved in whatever open space was available just to get it out of the way – not to mention out of mind. In this case, it had been out of my mind for two years!

What box is this for which I refer? A “hidden” box that went unnoticed and forgotten since my Mom passed in October 2020. It was her box full of old yearbooks, travel journals, photo albums, boxes within boxes of old photos, a Raggedy Ann & Andy my maternal grandmother made, and other mementos. It had been untouched by her for several years before it ended up on my shelf.

I placed the box on a table, took a deep breath, opened the lid, and at the sight of the contents, I went immediately into overwhelm.

I had already handled so much of my Mom’s stuff. More photos than it seemed possible any human could have saved. And now I was faced with even more pictures and keepsakes.

I almost closed the lid and put the box back where I found it. However, I knew it would not solve anything if I did. It would only put off for another day, or year, that which I knew I needed to handle today.

Although it may seem I’m about to share how to tidy up the stuff your loved ones left behind, I’ll leave that for another day or article. Today, let’s talk about overwhelm.

What exactly is overwhelm? According to GoodTherapy.org, “Emotional overwhelm is a state of being beset by intense emotion that is difficult to manage. It can affect your ability to think and act rationally. It could also prevent you from performing daily tasks.”

Yep, emotional overwhelm is precisely what happened to me. I couldn’t think or act rationally. I was frozen in time as I peered into the box. Memories of my mom, her life with my dad, and a past that existed before my time. A generational history I knew so little about that was mine.

I closed the box lid and took another deep breath. With the lid closed, I asked  myself, “How was I going to navigate this emotional overwhelm?”

Without realizing it, I took the steps suggested by Doug and Lynn Nodland, success coaches and owners of The Balance Center. They suggested …

7 Simple Steps to Help You Get Rid of Overwhelm:

1. Identify what’s in your control and what’s not. It’s wasted energy to worry about things that are outside your control. Decide what you can control and place your attention there.

2. Focus on finding the best solutions. Obsessing over the problem will only drive up your stress levels. Instead, spend time and attention on what are the solutions to get you out of the situation.

3. Create an action plan. Remember the adage, “Starting is half done.” Figure out what you need to do, and as you put in some time and effort, you will see progress.

4. Engage in good self-care. It’s important to take care of body, mind, and spirit. Rest and relaxation are needed, and so is eating well and getting exercise. You already know those basics. And don’t forget that meditation, mindfulness, and prayer can be helpful.

5. Be grateful for what you have. It’s easy to be so rushed when overwhelmed that we forget and take for granted all the good in our life.

6. Celebrate your successes. Do one small thing that can help you move ahead. Every little progress is worthy of celebration. Allow yourself to get excited and motivated about moving forward as one success leads to another.

7. Get some help. Whether the task is one of moving furniture, paper, or mindset, these tasks can be shared. So, get help. You are not alone. Ask for help and see what happens.

Did this approach help me? Indeed it did, even though I hadn’t found this article until it was time to share it with you.

Next time you’re overwhelmed, no matter what the cause may be, these steps could be helpful for you, too, especially as we enter a new year and make many promises and resolutions that add more to our already full plates.

In the meantime, the big box of my mom’s stuff is empty. All that awaits me when I’m ready is a small stack of my mom’s photos. Raggedy Ann and Andy sit on my sofa, out of the big box and no longer hidden.

 

 

Article by Joan Silva published in the monthly Crockett Signal magazine.

January 2023 Issue.