Self-Care
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I don’t want to!
I don’t want to! How many times I’ve heard myself say this. Not out loud, but in my head – Clearly and loudly. And yet, I’d convince myself it wasn’t an appropriate response or reason. How often I have done this – overridden this clear guidance. Instead, I would adjust it to be more appropriate, expected, or socially responsible. At least from what I perceived the situation required of me. In recent years, I have become more discerning of a request, invite, or obligation. I would ask myself – is it reasonable or not? Do I wish to participate or not? Why would I agree or not? Often the internal answer I heard was pure,…
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I used to hate this!
I used to hate this! Hate! Such a powerful word, isn’t it? It instantly brings up images, thoughts, or feelings of horror, nastiness, and hostility. Yet, I cannot deny that I have felt hate more often than I wish to admit. “Yes, I have felt hate.” So, what was it, exactly, that I hated? Initially, I thought about those things on the lighter side of hate if there is such a thing as a softer side! I hated brussel sprouts. Just the smell of brussels cooking made me never want to eat them, ever! And, lest we forget, the nasty smell left behind permeating the entire house – like something…
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Do you have uninvited guests?
Do you have uninvited guests? The other evening, homeowners in my development and Corporal Dickson from our local police department met on Zoom. Several homeowners have been concerned with the uptick of crimes in our area, so, with the guidance of a local police official, we set up a neighborhood watch program. Much was discussed about neighborhood watch logistics, the best way to stay connected with our neighbors, and how to report relevant issues to the police. Additionally, Corporal Dickson shared the crime stats for our specific development for the last three months. The crime stat that hit my funny bone (not that crime is funny) was the “uninvited guest” report. I…
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Does worry solve anything?
Does worry solve anything? Crazy question, I know, since within the question is the obvious answer. Of course, worry doesn’t solve a thing, does it? Instead, it just makes us anxious, fretful, and more worried, not less. Yet, the reality is that we still worry, don’t we? We fret, stew, and dwell upon the issue until it nearly drives us mad! I know this one well. I’ve spent my life worrying about things. You name it; I’ve worried myself into sleepless nights, anxiety attacks, and migraine headaches, just to name a few outcomes. More than I care to admit, I’ve spent more days and nights mulling over the issue, problem, or concern. But, the…
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You are allowed to change your mind
You are allowed to change your mind! How often have you agreed to do something you didn’t want to do? Where you said, “Sure, I’ll do that,” and in short order, you regret it. Maybe initially, it sounded like a good idea. Then, as the time ticks closer, you dread it, not even sure why you agreed in the first place. You remind yourself why you said yes. All the logical or emotional reasons you agreed. It would be fun. It would help my business. My family expects it of me. I’m supposed to do this. I’d be liked or accepted, maybe finally fit in. It was an honor to be…
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Don’t tell me what to do!
Don’t tell me what to do! I don’t know about you, but I detest being told what to do. It brings out the resistant child within me. Even if it would be helpful or valuable, I’ll find myself instantly put off. Of course, it certainly depends on how it is delivered, whether it raises the hackles on the back of my neck or not. However, if it was unsolicited advice, my instantaneous reaction is — “No, thank you!” The guidance, of course, is meant to be for your good. In their opinion, that is. And, these days, it is usually oriented to think positive, be thankful, forgive, and see whatever life has handed you…
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Is it time to stop apologizing and explaining?
Is it time to stop apologizing and explaining? Have you ever apologized for something even when it is not your fault? Or for something you had nothing to do with, such as when someone on the street blasts into you and you apologize to them. How about those times when someone is rude or unkind, and you apologize? What about when you explain why you feel a certain way or cannot do what someone requested of you? Maybe unsolicited advice that you are supposed to follow but do not wish to follow. Do you find yourself explaining and most likely apologizing for why you cannot, or do not, want to do what…
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The Control Freak Lets Go of Control
The Control Freak Lets Go of Control Impossible, I think, to let go of control. How will my world go on spinning if I don’t take charge and make it happen? Certainly, things won’t get done. Life will fall apart. No one will do what they said they would do. I religiously make my daily “to-do” list and proceed to push myself each day to complete it, no matter what it takes. No matter how long my day must go. To give me a sense of accomplishment. A sense of success. And, of course, to convince me that I am in control. Even those items that require others in my…
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Does tidying up and decluttering truly set you free?
Does tidying up and decluttering truly set you free? This question is a powerful one. Something that many professionals and experts in the field suggest is the outcome of decluttering. However, is that true? Does tidying up and decluttering truly set you free? For those looking for a comforting promise, my answer may be discouraging or frustrating. We are a culture looking for assurances and guarantees. We have come to believe that all we need to do is to take specific action steps and the promised goal is ours. Such as take this pill and you’ll feel better. Have a headache, depression, or stomach upset, here’s the answer. Clean up your home…
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What did I change when I got cancer?
What did I change when I got cancer? It certainly was a wake-up call, the diagnosis of breast cancer. The first time back in early 2018 was a gut punch. Left me gasping for air as I burst into tears. The second time around in 2020, oddly enough was less shocking, although it caught me by surprise, just the same. I didn’t take it lightly. I knew this was no game. This was my life, to be taken seriously. I knew I had to make some drastic, life-altering changes. But … What was it I needed to change to embrace wellness? Back in 2018, I decided to have surgery, a…